How I approach eating out without Guilt
How I calm my mind, and focus on the present
My backstory
For years I had an eating disorder, where food controlled me, and filled me with fear. This was a time when the thought of eating out gave me more anxiety than excitement. It was spent days before stressing about it, and days after non-stop thinking about what I did. I missed a countless number of events due to wanting to control what I could eat. But now? Eating out is filled with laughter, enjoyment, and the ability to be present. I am able to not only enjoy the food, but not let it consume me. I can make memories and enjoy the moment. I look forward to it—the conversations, the memories, the taste. Healing changed everything. Food should be a vehicle for enjoyment, laughter, and life- not restriction.
When I finally realized I was not living the life I wanted to live, and could not go on like that, I decided I needed a change. By participating in therapy, I redefined my values and learned how to shift my mindset around food. I have shifted from a fear to freedom mindset and welcome food in as a joy in life.
How I approach eating out
When it comes to eating out, if I am hesitant or anxious I check in with myself. Here are a few things I ask/do:
Checking in with myself first: Why am I going out?? Instead of panicking over the food, I ground myself with this question. Am I going to spend quality time with someone, am I celebrating someone or something, am I giving myself a break from cooking or am I experiencing something new?
This helps me refocus on my attention for the meal, and the purpose behind it so I shift the focus from food.
Reinforce the idea that I do not “earn” or “burn off” food anymore. No extra workouts, no skipping meals, just trusting myself and my body.
Order what sounds good, not what is the “healthiest”. I honor a craving, and give myself permission to eat as much as I want. I also give myself permission to not finish it, knowing I can get it again and eat it whenever the craving arises again.
I focus on the presence and company- not the food. Instead of managing every bite I am taking, and analyzing the food going into my body, I shift my focus. I focus on the laughs at the table, the memories being created. I take note of the restaurant, the detail and the experience. I’ve found that connection is far more fulfilling than control ever was.
Favorite reminders that keep me grounded
“Food is more than fuel, it is connection and enjoyment”
“One meal does not define me, my heart does”
“Guilt has no place at the table”
“What matters is who I am with, not what is on my plate”
“I trust my body and my choices”
A recent night for me:
My boyfriend and I had a sunset picnic where we picked up food from one of our favorite spots and enjoyed it at a place we love. At the end, spur of moment, Connor asked me if I wanted to meet his parents for ice cream. Sometimes the initial anxious sets in, as this was not expected. But I paused, and thought about the scenario and knew I wanted to spend time with his parents. We went and got ice cream, I got a flavor that sounded good to me, and ate however much I wanted until I was full. I was laughing, enjoying being with people I love, and had such a fun night. To me, nights like that, are way more worth it than restriction.
Whenever eating out may be harder, or you lose focus on what is important to you, I encourage you to try these tips! Everyday is different, some days are harder than others, but you have the ability to work through anything!
XoXo, Bri